I've come to discover that being a pimp ain't all it's made out to be. Sure there are all the bitches and hos, but there are all costs associated with bitches and hos. Paying for hoochie skirts, condoms, weaves, and an occasional abortion ain't cheap. Hos make money, but the bitches spend it as fast as it comes in. So what do I want: to have my cake and eat it to. Pimpin' has too many downsides, and I need to find a new direction.
Well I ain't just a pimp, rather a pimp and a minister. Pimpin' hos has it's upsides, but so does pimpin' god. I can start my own cult. Cult leaders get money like a pimp, but their hos--er followers pay their own way (yours too if you're the cult leader). I can still be eccentric, and I can avoid many taxes (there's that whole separation of church and state thing--thus far there is no separation of pimp and state, we should work on that). So I need to work on a few good sermons, learn to play acoustic guitar, and get myself a compound. Heck, I need to work on a few good Koolaid cocktails too. Maybe I should start looking for followers at Comfest--there should be some willing followers there (may need to preach the sermon of bathing though).
All I can say is halleluiah!
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