I never thought I'd be happy to be in Kentucky. What can make Kentucky seem so nice, well I think the only thing that can is Tennessee. I can't honestly think of one nice thing about the godforesaken shithole. I suppose there needs to be somewhere folks in Arkansas and Kentucky can make fun of. It's just a bunch of ugly mountains (why couldn't they blow them up to make it quicker to go from Kentucky to Georgia?), white trash, and rednecks. Only in Tennessee do you have giant crosses (which I'm sure are rigged to burn at night) next to gigantic adult toy stores. Only in Tennessee have I seen someone hit a bong while driving on the interstate. Only in Tennessee do they have billboards asking you not to make meth. Only in Tennessee has a women told me that a vibrator and a dog is better than a man.
Some of Tennessee's most famous citizens are known for what they did when they left Tennessee: Davy Crocket, Steve Spurrier, and the inventor of the internet. The shithole state is most known for lame ass formulaic music, where folks sing about their daughter/sister/aunt (they're all the same person) leaving them, their dog killing itself (likely from the shame and horror of being molested by the white trash perverts), and running out of moonshine (even gallon jugs run out sooner or later).
I got a speeding ticket in the shithole, in a valley, trying to pass some trucks before they clog the interstate on the next mountain. The fucking speed limit dropped from 70 to 55 at the bottom of a mountain! Sure enough a cop was there--what a coincidence. Couldn't they shut down a still or two or even stop some goat from being raped?
I don't think it helped that my car has its share of Gator paraphernalia. I can't help it that UT sucks ass.
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