Friday, June 30, 2006

My Failings as a Cult Leader

Since I decided to deemphasize my pimpin bidness and focus on starting a cult, I've encountered a few hurdles. First off, I dunno how to break it to my girlfriend that I'm gonna turn the crib into a compound and start recruiting followers (any ideas?). Additionally, no one seems to know what I need to do to get my taxes waived on the compound, groceries--er communion, and gas for my alter on wheels. Lastly, how do I start getting followers. Without followers, I cannot start rolling in the dough--err fund my evangelism. So where is the cult leaders for dummies book? Why isn't Charlie Manson free to go on the speaking circuit? Can he be THAT dangerous? Most cult leaders kill themselves, oddly enough by senticing him to death (later reduced to life, and he is up for parole), he's outlived most cult leaders (hopefully he'll outlive Tom Cruise).

No comments: