Thursday, May 04, 2006

You know who you are

A shout out to the fat lazy slobs who can't shop without those motorized carts, get the fuck out of my way. I'm not trying to be insensitive, and if you really have a disability that isn't being a lazy fat fuck, well then you can read another one of my blogs instead, but if not, let me shop in peace. I've never been mistaken for an Abercrombie model, and I've been a big dude my whole life, but I never was too fat to shop. If you are too fat to shop, well then maybe you should get off your ass and walk a little it won't kill you, and if it does, well then my problem's solved. Insensitive, yeah, but try getting your feet run over by a beached whale hundreds of mines from the shore--it sucks. Oh, and don't expect any sympathy with the packs of hot dogs, bacon, and Pepsi in your basket. I'll be glad to point you to some carrots or broccoli.

Think you own the aisle on your bad-ass Lark scooter, well wait until I unplug your battery and you need to get off your lazy ass and either fix it or waddle out of the store. Yeah I'm a jackass, but I'm not a lazy one, so I don't give a fuck. Now if someone is truly disabled, wouldn't they have their own scooter, and wouldn't they need it everywhere, not just the store? Doesn't it seem fishy (oh btw, fish might also be healthier than those pork rinds, so mix some in every now and then) that stores cater to these cows? Well its shouldn't, as they are loyal customers, zipping around to find their high-markup processed foods (mmmm yum!). What's next, a special parking decal for fat people? Why don't you just go to the feed store and get you some mad cow chow, and leave me alone. I used to pity folks like you, now I just hate you. Where can I find a Calvin pissing on a fat fuck riding a scooter? Off to the flea market I guess.

I'm not bitter, I promise.

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