Thursday, April 20, 2006

Hell is the New Heaven

Next month the annual Hell City Tattoo Festival will be headed to lovely C-bus, which apparently must be hell on earth. I dunno how we beat out other cities for the distinction of being hell city. Columbus really is missing the boat by not promoting the distinction of being hell city. Anyway, a few years back one of my homeboys wanted to get some work done, and he wanted to get some ideas. I always being eager to go new places, see new things, and encounter different people jumped at the opportunity. It's at the lovely convention center, and we find a space in a nearby garage. The whole fucking garage is filled with minivans laden with all sorts of shit written on them. Upon further inspection the writing seems to be talking trash about cheerleading. I was afraid we were at the wrong place; my buddy is a great guy, fun, knows everyone, and usually leads me to interesting situations, but it wouldn't be out of the question for us to be at the wrong place. It certainly was more likely that we were lost than there being a tattoo festival and cheerleading competition at the same place. That would be lunacy!!!

I LOVE lunacy! Hell City is like the new heaven. I wish I could meet the genius who booked both a tattoo festival and cheerleading contest at the same time at the same place, because it was brilliant. Additionally, the two events were in halls right next to each other--the doors were about twenty feet apart. Picture moms, grandmas, and their precious little cheerleaders waiting in line to file into the cheerleading competition while gazing to their left to see bikers, punks, goths, white trash, and various other folks there to see the tattoo festival and its accompaning freak show. The disconcerting looks, hasty attempts to clutch onto the kids, and other reactions of the cheerleading posse with classic. I was convinced that there had to be some rebellious girl who just had a fight with mom and grandma or a girl out to impress their fellow cheerleaders making out or worse with one of the dudes from the tattoo fest.

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