Monday, April 03, 2006

My Life as a Pimp & Dinner with a Tranny

Not a whole lot going on, so I figured I'd dig into the archive for something to say.

Quite a few years back I went out with this rather interesting and eccentric gal (some might say crazy, and I've been of that opinion more than once). Anyway, things didn't work out, and after going out for a couple of years and having things become a real nasty mess, we became friends again. We were actually really close for a while still, but things were never the same (which was good). We both moved away from Gainesville at the same time, with me moving to Ohio and her back to South Florida.

There are about a dozen real good stories to tell about my time with her, but when you cut out the most embarrassing ones, and the ones that I'd rather forget, were down to a few. Here's one (some of which I'd rather forget, but it's still funny).

After spending time down in South Florida, it was time for my ex to go to grad school. She was interested in a rather specialized field and didnt want to take the GRE, so her choices were limited, but she got in one of the better programs out there. This was up in Toronto, so she flew up here, and we went to Toronto together to get things set up for her (she never was good at dealing with things like applications, visas, leases, etc ). We rented a car (mine at the time wasnt the cool shaggin wagon I have today) and drove to Toronto (well I did all the driving, but I can't honestly remember a time when she drove me anywhere).

To get to Toronto, one needs to get into Canada. This usually isnt a problem, but when you have a car full of stuff, two people with Florida licenses, Ohio license plate on a rental, and paranoid border guards, well its a mess. One can visit Canada whenever they like, usually with no trouble. Unfortunately, Canada would rather you go there and then go back to wherever the fuck you came from. Well, it was obvious she was going to be staying there, and she had no paperwork. What's funny is that they were convinced that she was my ho and I was her pimp (they actually came out and accused us of that). They thought I was driving her up there to set up a Toronto franchise for my pimp empire. It took hours to convince them that she was in fact a student, and I was not a pimp (I had to lie, as I am in fact a pimp).

When we get there we have to find this house where her friend lives. She met this dude online, which isnt so odd, but she met him on Bondage.com. I cant remember what his deal was, but suffice to say it was interesting and likely would frighten most folks. We get there, and it becomes obvious he and his sis (they lived together, but he didnt bother to tell her we were coming, nor was he home when we got there) must have a cat piss fetish, as they somehow converted their entire basement into a cat box they shovel more litter onto. It was so fucking nasty. Beyond getting our rental broken into, going to a World Cup rave, and meeting all sorts of weird folks, it was a relatively normal trip.

Ok, here's where the story picks up. A month or so later, she's ready to move the rest of her shit up (previously we moved some stuff that I had the movers move with me up to Ohio). To do this she drove up here with her boyfriend, her yorkie, and her sugar daddy. They were coming via Columbus, and let's say it's rather interesting to have a girl, her ex, her boyfriend, and her sugar daddy in one place. It gets even more interesting when you factor the fact that her sugar daddy is a transvestite dominatrix (I dunno if it maters, but s(he) did not look at all like a chic--I could empty out the whole stinky ass brewery up by my house and still know she was a dude). After the circus roles into town, we all decide to go to get some sushi, so I suggest Restaurant Japan. One thing leads to another, and my ex and her bf jump out of the car right as we leave my place, and I somehow end up having dinner with the tranny. That is the story of how I went to dinner with a transvestite.

Ok, that's it for now

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