Once upon a time, in a city far far away, I was chillin at my crib with a good friend of mine. We were watching a movie, and she was also doing some work. After watching the film, she asked if I could go to the store to pick up a few things. Since she was still working on stuff for work, it seemed like a logical request. She needed some cigarettes and something she was reluctant to mention. I figured she needed some girly products, but it was odd she just didn't come out and say it. I just grabbed my shoes and keys, and before I left I needed to know what exactly she needed. She still was reluctant to say what she wanted, but she came out and said she was worried after watching Saved.
Well if you've seen the movie we were watching, you'd know that one of the key plotlines involves an unintended pregnancy, and well my friend had been a naughty little girl and was a bit worried. She finally came out and said it, and after a bit of teasing I asked what kind of pregnancy test she wanted (I'm not exactly an expert on these things). She said to get the cheapest one they had. I kinda snickered at her and went to the store.
I grabbed the smokes and some stuff I needed/wanted (wine and energy drinks), and then I proceeded to look for the test. I wandered down the girly aisle, past pads, tampons, douches, and other niceties, but no pregnancy tests. I then headed to the pharmacy, where there was a decent sized mob waiting for pillz and shit. I waited my turn, and I couldn't quite see the tests, but there were quite a few. When asked what I needed, I said I needed a pregnancy test. She pointed at the selection of tests, and I said I wanted the cheapest one they had. One of the ladies waiting in the area said, "way to go dad you're off to a good start". I suppose the basket full of baby mutating items combined with my frugality concerning the test made a bad impression. I tried explaining that it wasn't my baby, and then everyone, including the pharmacist started laughing, and this old lady heckled out "that's what they all say". I never laid a hand on the girl, so there was no chance anything that was or was not brewing inside her had anything to do with me.
I just took the test and left knowing I'd have a story to tell. The test was negative, but the packaging left behind in my bathroom trashcan raised a few eyebrows.