Don't Call it a Comeback

I never left, but I sure fell into a pit of apathy, and lo and behold there haven't been any blogs in ages. I've wanted to write, but as each week passed, I had more things I wanted to write about, and I couldn't write about C until wrote about B, and then there was the matter of A.

Oh well, enough of this nonsense, time to get started on my ABCs!

Return of an Old Friend

In times like these, with turmoil all over the world, soldiers off fighting wars, and people having to say hard goodbyes--sometime forever, it often seems so unreal.

Sadly for me it was all too real. It's so hard seeing a friend disappear for so long; harder still seeing him come back in a box; and worst of all opening the box and seeing someone else. It's all so fucked up.

At least there was something in the box, as it led to closure, and ultimately new beginnings, but dammit there was a part of me that left, and while I looked for it in the box it was gone.

My consolation prize, one month of X-Box Live Gold membership. Well I can at least use it on the replacement unit they sent me, and I can go fight in wars online. God Bless America!

OMG

Today I had a craving for a sandwich, and I wanted to get as close to satisfying that craving as I could without breaking the bank, so I went to Subway. A month or so ago I made the mistake of trying the Subway Feast, which was there best attempt to shy away from the wussy Jared image they created. Big mistake.

My strategy at Subway has degenerated to trying to disguise the taste of the meat type stuff as well as I can with jalapenos, banana peppers, and other fixin's. The Feast defeats this tactic by inundating one's taste buds with huge quantities of mediocre meat of various ilks. It all kinda mixes and mashes to form some dreadful ubermeat that likely will outlive us all (I really shouldn't anger it, should I?). Anyway, it was far too much work to try to pretend it was good. I vowed to never try that again.

OK, back to today. There was a huge line, filled with all of the usual Dublin cube-monkey cliche looks and styles, and lots of Bluetooth all around. I patiently waited my turn, and when I was second in line, the gal in front of me, a smallish seemingly human entity, ordered a double Feast. To which the "Sandwich Artist" gasped: "Oh My God" and offered a look of sheer disgust with a touch of terror. Other "artists" couldn't help but gawk at the meat-like monstrosity that she created. I merely tried to avoid vomiting.

I'd be dead without my pets

I sit here somewhat winded, dealing with a scratchy throat, runny nose, and general not-wellness, and I'm 100% better than I was earlier in the week. OK, enough bitching, I have a point. Check this out:

Pets: Good for Your Health?

So with 10 pets (two guinea pigs, three kitty cats, a bunny, two dogs, a turtle, and a chinchilla), I should be getting the full effect, for my physical well-being AND MY SANITY!!!!

Good Lord! I'd be schizophrenic or worse without them. I'd be comatose too. Time to get more pets. No wonder Jack Hanna always looks so healthy (Steve Irwin did too, but I digress).

Get yourself a pet! Stop by and help with mine!

Let it Snow

Last week it snowed here--it snowed quite a bit by Columbus, Ohio standards. Anyway, being the first snow of the year, the boys were rather excited about it all. Not wanting to pass this opportunity up, I grabbed the camera.


Stuart and 'Kuma ran around, played with each other, and ate snow (fortunately not the yellow stuff). The didn't seem to mind it at all, which is no surprise for 'Kuma, who is a St Bernard after all.

If you haven't noticed, I'm running out of things to say, so I'll just post a link to the rest of the pics and leave you with an image of Stuart barely keeping his junk above the snow.

The End of The Year

Well, it's that time of year again. but I will spare you the monotony of a year end recap (well, for today at least). Last weekend, well weekend before last, as I've procrastinated a bit, Liz and I attended the year end party for her employer (rhymes with Yolanda). Now I've been to a couple of events from my employer (rhymes with Haitian Pride), though I kinda expected something much nicer, as Liz's coworkers have described this party as a prom of sorts. Anyway, enough of the buildup.

The party was at the Arena Grand, which is a newish mid-sized downtown theater. The Arena Grand has 8 screens, a large central lobby, and a couple of mezzanines above that. I half wondered how a company party could occupy all of this space, but the invite mentioned quite a few destinations (it had a New York City theme), each complete with food and activities. As we approached the garage, it was obvious that only company employees were welcome, and as we walked toward the theater, we were greeted with covered and heated walkways instead of a cold windy sidewalk. We get to the theater, and most people are dressed rather nicely, with many guys in suits and tuxes and many ladies in dresses and gowns. Some took it to the next level, with dress kilts, kimonos, and full cowboy regalia. We quickly got over our people watching, and sought out the food.

Our quest was brief, as we were bombarded with salmon hor'dourves and butternut squash shooters (yeah, there may be a NYC theme, but we're still in Ohio). We walked past a huge spread of meats and cheeses, as we were on a quest for sushi. We came, we ate, and we conquered. Damn there was a shitload of sushi there, and since we were unfashionably early, we could chow down. Afterwards, we sought out dinner. Yes, there were hor'dourves, sushi, and dinner. Dinner included all kinds of meats and mashed potatoes in martini glasses.

After dinner, came desert (chocolate fountain), and then pictures, a movie (Fred Claus), a comedy showed (we ducked out), video games (Wii), and karaoke (of course). There was a jazz band at dinner, which like the sushi was outside of the theater. Back to the video games, watching a couple in a suit and gown play Wii Tennis is a hoot. I never used a Wii before, but I got quite a workout bowling. On our way out we scored cotton candy and a Coney Island hot dog.

Needless to say it was very grand, larger than I expected, and blast. Next year I'm bringing a doggy bag.

I am a Rock God

There are many things a lady can say to a man to make him all giddy, for for the purposes of this entry, I'll focus on one of them in particular "we should get Guitar Hero for Christmas".

After reaching a critical mass with whole episodes of South Park devoted to it (still awaiting the Heroine Hero game), it would be hard to resist. In fact, I've had lengthy discussions with a host of coworkers, all adults as I am--many even older than I, about Guitar Hero. Some even ponied up for Rock Band, and tackle the drums and guitar in an attempt to live out their dreams. Well for now, lets real it back in. Yes, Guitar Hero 3. Owning a 360, we opted for the easier to find Sams Club bundle (comes with the wired Guitar Hero 2 controller), and upon unwrapping it, the madness began.

At first it was pretty ugly. Getting booed off the stage sucks ass, even if it's just a game. Hell, it's even worse when it's a game, as you paid for the damn thing. Not one to get shown up, I persevered. Picking the right songs and finding my rhythm, I survived playing "Talk Dirty to Me", "Barracuda", and "School's Out"--all relatively easy for folks not in the know. I appeared to plateau, and soon I'd be washed up. Liz started to play, and she experienced the same blues, but then too she got better. I began to resign myself to musical parity or perhaps a parody of music. Then it happened.

My untapped potential got tapped, and then it was neither untapped nor potential. I was a rock god. Songs like "One", "The Number of the Beast", or even "The Devil Went Down to Georgia", bowed before me and my greatness. Now on to medium difficulty!

I'm a happy boy

As I alluded to in the end of my last blog, things really ended on an up note on our vacation. The prospect of a free trip to San Diego notwithstanding, having Liz say yes to a question I've been pondering how to ask for a while really made it all so special.

No it wasn't a successful resolution of the question I asked previously, rather something a bit more substantial. I wish I could spin a yarn of some wonderfully romantic approach to that age old question, but alas I was thwarted with a bunch of circumstances that really forced me to make the most of the situation (I suppose I could have slipped the ring on her finger while she was asleep and explained that she must have forgotten about the wonderfully romantic way I asked her the night before). Anyway, Liz said yes, and I'm a happy boy.

Our First Vacation

My employer (rhymes with Haitian Pride) was kind enough to send Liz and I on a trip to Walt Disney World last week, so I could officially receive a couple of professional designations (CLU, ChFC, and CASL for those non-existent people who care). To be honest the free trip was a huge part of my motivation for getting this motley assortment of letters to append at the end of my name and stamp out some of the white space on my business cards. While it would have been nice to spend all of my time with Liz and my parents (who joined us for a couple days, as they are still Floridians), I had to be fettered and tethered to the conference that went on (for IRS reasons--this is a "business" trip after all). Liz did manage to spend a lot of time at the theme parks, and oddly enough I did too (a real pimp can be at two places at once).

For the past few weeks, we both were very excited about the trip, as we haven't had a real vacation yet, and well who wouldn't be excited to go to "The Happiest Place on Earth"? All of that anticipation seemed in vane, as Liz informed me that Disneyland is "The Happiest Place on Earth", and Walt Disney World is merely "Where All of Your Dreams Come True". Damnit! If I want to dream that Disney World is the "Happiest Place on Earth", well then IT IS! I was going to be fucking happy! After being reminded that Disney World is a whole lot more expensive as an Ohioan (they have all sorts of Florida discounts that I've exploited over the years--next time I'm getting a fake Florida ID beforehand), we placed our fingers on the biometric turnstiles (EPCOT technology at work) and got happy--err had productive dreams.

We spent the better part of the first two days at EPCOT, which is dork heaven complete with animitronic dinosaurs, purple dragons, and lots of simulated culture. Liz even got to ride Test Track, which is kinda like a French chef touring a McDonalds kitchen. Oh speaking of smelly hairy types, one of the many fanciful meals we enjoyed was Liz's first encounter with es cargo. We also got to dine with the princesses in Norway, though I thought it would have been cooler to dine with the trolls, provided we weren't the main course. We also got to chow with Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore in the Crystal Palace and some fellow dorks at the hotel (who knew there was another financial services nerd/engineer couple?) Crazy world indeed. Oh speaking of hotel, if you don't mind power outages (for "homeland security reasons") or intermittent construction that sounded like a moose getting unwanted dental work done, give Hilton a call.

Beyond EPCOT, we went to the Animal Kingdom, where we conquered Everest (really cool ride btw), brought elicit dinosaur contraband back from the past, and got to see many animals (which would seem obvious, but the first time I went there I saw more vultures eating a skunk carcass than anything I wanted to see). Too bad we missed the "Blackhawk Down" parade through Little Mogadishu. The following day we overcame Liz's dislike for free fall rides and being trapped in an Aerosmith themed roller coaster at MGM Studios. Lastly, we wrapped it all up in the Magic Kingdom, where we learned that it pays to complain to Disney employees. In between we got to witness my mom's amazing ability to use her Jedi mind tricks on the greater at the Polynesian meat feast (previously Disney Dining said they were booked full all week and suggested we try a night 180 days in advance!--that's not making my fucking dreams come true!)

Speaking of dreams coming true, I found out that it will be easy to add some more letters after my name and get a free trip to San Diego next September and something else which I'll save for my next blog.

Assorted Dining Encounters

Friday, being the date night that it is, had Liz and I trekking to two different pet for stores to procure food and treats for nine of our ten pets (poor Pablo the turtle got left out). We're not content to have ten pets, rather we strive to have ten spoiled pets who all get the best. Anyway, betwixt our two pet store encounters, we dined at the finest restaurant that has all you can eat pizza for $5--CiCi's.

Liz feared the worst when she saw the full parking lot, and despite my best efforts to convince her that there were so many better places to eat there that CiCi's could be packed, she didn't believe me. She was right, as we had to wait to pay for our food, wait to find a place to sit, and wait to get anything that resembled pizza. That wasn't the worst of it, as everyone had kids--lots of kids--lots of ill behaved kids. They might as well tear up that pathetic arcade room and place a planned parenthood in there. I'm sure they'd have a line there too!

Not sated with the paltry offerings off a picked through CiCi's and the monotony of the experience, we sojourned to Culver's. Culver's is like the Valhalla for Ohioans--featuring butter burgers, milk shakes, frozen custard, and anything else to make a cardiologist's bank account swell. I like hamburgers, and cheeseburgers are even better, but do we really need to lather the buns in butter before frying them? What next buttered and fried tomatoes? Lettuce? We passed on the "hearty" burgers and focused on the frozen custard. For those of you who don't know, frozen custard is like ice cream, but it is even fattier. It's so creamy and fatty that it slides off of your tongue. It's good, but you feel like you just had a Crisco sundae (tastes much better though).

Lastly, this morning we had our usual trip to the zoo. While it was a beautiful day and the exercise is always needed, we were most excited about the "Boo at the Zoo" event. This takes the usual zoo experience and adds "animal enrichment", which means pumpkins filled with treats. For some animals that means trail mix, for others like the lion, we saw some odd furry thing getting gnawed on.