After years of searching and many unfulfilled journeys, I have successfully located the Holy Grail of caffeine. The arduous nature of my quest seems odd given the recent popularity of caffeine, first in high potency coffee drinks and later via energy drinks, but an ordeal it has been.
Yesterday morning, while wandering past the collection of refrigerated drinks at Big Bird, I saw they now have Jolt products. Jolt Cherry Bomb, Jolt Blue, and some new-fangled sugar free variety (sugar free Jolt?!?!?!?!) I didn't see any Jolt Cola, but I didn't look too hard. I was so excited, and I grabbed some Jolt Blue, then everything started getting jittery.
I feel that all is right in the world, or at least mostly so. Well, maybe just a bit more right.